My incredibly brilliant and incredibly wonderful friends at Divergence Neuro are hiring for a full-time customer support position for their new software platform. (Toronto only, sorry!)

https://www.divergenceneuro.com/career/customer-support-representative-full-time/

I don’t speak tech, but you can look yourself at the job specs and see if you qualify. CEO Alex Ni is a genius, and so is his business partner Heather Hargraves – who is also the best thing to ever happen to me. If you want a job with brilliant folk where you will make a difference to the world – and you can be patient with tech dunces like me… apply.

However – I might not speak tech… I but I do speak biology, and I’m telling you that neurofeedback, and Divergence’s platform, is very much the real fucking deal…

As many people know: I have NEVER been able to sleep. Ever. People love to give me lazy (and insensitive) advice about cutting down on caffeine, or just having a 9-5 schedule, and I just want to scream with frustration. I couldn’t sleep when I was five, this has nothing to do with caffeine. And it’s not about sticking to a regular schedule either – I had a regular schedule for my entire early life in school – that didn’t change a thing. I’d still go days without sleep. My mom started giving me weird pills from Chinatown (that my aunt Kelley Harron nicknamed “Chinese Roofies” after they knocked a friend out cold) when I was ten, then four years later I discovered weed, and since then I’ve been reliant on some kind of substance to turn off the lights. Nothing else has ever worked. Even the NHS told me I was “potentially untreatable” when I signed up for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to try and kill this demon.

The CBT helped a bit – but I was told that a big event in my life could trigger the insomnia to rear its head again… and it did. When my mother was diagnosed with cancer I didn’t sleep for twelve days in a row… *Twelve*. And then on the one year anniversary of her death, something in my brain snapped and I went without ONE minute of sleep EVERY OTHER NIGHT for A YEAR AND A HALF.

For eighteen straight fucking months I would toss and turn in bed ALL NIGHT without a minute of sleep, and by dawn I’d be exhausted, worn out, miserable, and in tears. Words cannot express how much it was ruining my life: I constantly had to cancel meetings, events, gigs… everything. I was spending 40-60 hours a week in bed – more time than I was spending working or exercising or doing ANYTHING ELSE – just tossing and turning, worrying about everything in the universe, smoking constantly in a desperate attempt to turn off the lights… I was really losing hope. I cried a lot.

Heather however believed that she could crack my problem with *physical rewiring* of my brain… You can see on my insta a bunch of diary entries with me experimenting with the tech in slutty outfits:

And some very very unsexy ones too…

As a friend put it: “This one is the hottest. This is the one that will find you true love – somebody with some weird orthodontic headgear fetish. They will be dedicated, considering themselves so lucky, treat you so well.”
This one at least has the sexy defiance, because it looks like I’ve joined the Rebellion. (That’s a Star Wars joke for all non-nerds.)

By October I was able to adopt a new and regimented protocol of exercises, and after just a couple of weeks of using the technology… I started to sleep better.

Then by the end of December I realised I hadn’t had a sleepless night in a month… It seemed too good to be true. I was excited and hopeful, but it still seemed too premature to state with confidence that my brain is changing.

Now it’s been FIVE MONTHS since I’ve rolled in misery all night… and I can say with confidence: Neurofeedback is changing my brain. This is the real fucking deal.

I’ll continue to work with it, and I intend to write many science features and personal testimonies about it – as well as to sing the praises of neurofeedback to anyone seeking a non-drug based way to change their brains for conditions such as ADHD, epilepsy, anxiety, migraine, and so much more…

More to come from me. I will shout from the top of every mountain about this: I really feel this tech can change people’s lives. Medics will dole out poison pills (because they’re cheap as chips) without ever mentioning neurofeedback to people because it’s expensive – and because people just don’t know about it.

Well, as a writer I can’t make it cheaper or easier to use – that’s Alex’s job – but I sure as fuck can do one thing, and that is tell the world about it… Watch this space.