Dear Santa, I know it’s been three weeks since Christmas, but can I have a belated present?

May I please have a crystal ball to tell me if the world is going to erupt in nuclear war or unlivable changes due to (take your pick) migration crises, climate change, economic meltdown, global war. I’d like to know now if I should bother with this whole “getting on the property ladder” malarky and all that, or if I should just pack in all my big projects and just spend the next decade having fun and helping the homeless.

Just don’t want to waste my time, you know?

Also, if I knew I wasn’t going to live to be old, I would totally get subwoofers installed on my headphones, as hearing loss would no longer be a concern, and I’d gorge on all the awful things that are bad for your body but oh, so lovely.