Obnoxious spam email from Victoria Milan’s PR dept:

“Dear Zoe,

A revealing study into the deep, dark secrets of cheaters has revealed which excuses will be used most commonly on Valentine’s Day, as more than one-third of active female cheaters in UK plan to spend time with both their lover and their long-term partner on the most romantic day of the year while only 11% of male cheaters intend to do same.

The survey, conducted by Victoria Milan – a dating site for married and attached people looking to cheat – asked 5907 of its active male and female members from 19 countries to put down the chocolates, fluffy handcuffs and champagne and answer some questions about who takes priority on Valentine’s Day, and why.”

Etc etc. Then they lay out the stats on what excuses cheaters use and so forth, mined from surveys of their users.

I kind of just want to email the schleck back with something like,

“You have sullied my laptop with this email. Find something better to do with your life. There are other ways to make a living in PR.”