“Hey guys – why don’t we go skiing in Vermont in March? It’ll be awesome. We’ve been going to this lovely hidden place in the mountains for 20 years – it’s brilliant.”
Enter: Climate change.
Cloudless. Sunny. 24C.
Andy got a sunburn. I poured with sweat. And Slunt strode through the crisp spring streams barefoot, defiant and deliriously happy.
“For too long winter has destroyed our crops, blocked out the sun, and put an end to our summers!” he proclaimed. “No more, we say! At long last, mankind shall vanquish our primal foe. ‘Tis now that we see man’s penultimate triumph over nature.”
And so we did. With the aid of the world’s Brobdingnagian fossil fuel infrastructure (which we used to fly to Vermont, hooray!), combined with the incessant, effortless consumption of three billion lazy people who buy too much shit.
End result: gorgeous summer walk in the woods in March.
I simultaneously love and loathe when environmental specialists (like myself) are proven correct in our assertion that climate change will progress more dramatically than anyone ever thought possible.