To get a better look at the electricity inside my head, and more precisely, the “jagged waves” emanating from my right temporal lobe (which as I’ve always said, is rather a rock and roll way to describe a neurological condition), I was sent for a 36 hour EEG to get a sense for how my brain waves change over day and night.

I went out to Chiltern for the kit, and then was sent back to London. I was not comfortable. The electrodes were secured to my head with firm glue. I looked a bit cyborgish. No fun.

So I figured – why not make an outing of it so all my friends could come and marvel at my freakish state? Being English, of course they suggested we meet at the pub.

Measure this.

(And yes MOM, I asked the neurologist if it was ok – he said a few pints was fine, but not to get smashed.

Sitting outside the pub with this shit strapped to my head, my friends tittered and marveled. Then a bum came to ask for change. But when he saw the wires, he could only stare, and said “Oh my god… your head… do you need help?”

“Ah, no, I’m fine.”

“Really? Can I help you?”

“Ah no that’s kind, I have my friends with me.”

He wandered off, sad and confused.

In a way, it was incredibly touching.