Several days in Saskatchewan have been chilled, beautiful, clean, clear, and refreshing. Seeing white fluffy clouds waaaay up above – unlike clouds over England, which always hang low – has triggered some part of my brain from my childhood. It’s been comforting and familiar.
I love this country very much. But I’m ready to go back to England now. I’m not sure what it is about Canada, but I always feel very lonely when I’m here.
It’s not just the fact that I’m in the prairies right now. I grew up in Toronto – too busy and dense for most Canadians – and I always felt lonely there too.
I don’t know if it’s the fact that this country is so big, and that everything is so spread out, including the streets and houses. I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s all very quiet and placid (unlike me). I don’t know what it is.
I just don’t feel like I fit here, and I never have. I seemed to feel lonely almost every single day growing up. I don’t know why. Canadians are lovely.
All I know is that I’m listening to Nick Drake for the first time in god knows how long, I’m pining for London’s grey streets, and I have an inexplicable craving for a great big dirty kebab.