To discuss the science of sex, drugs and rock n’ roll – all explored in my new book – I will be speaking throughout the UK this autumn and winter…

September 25th – The Bus Driver’s Prayer, Kahaila Café, 135 Brick Lane, London. 7.30pm. Tickets Here

September 28th – Wigtown Book Festival, The Booth, Wigtown, Scotland. 2:30pm Info Here

October 10th – Lichfield Literature Festival, George IV Pub, Lichfield, 7:30pm. Tickets Here

November 19th – Last Tuesday Society, Hackney, London, 6pm. Tickets Here

November 26th – Salon, London, The Proud Archivist, N1 5ET. Tickets Here


As a child, I was the biggest nerd in the universe – Lisa Simpson can’t hold a candle to me – yet for some reason I wrote these two things for my yearbook quotes:

“Don’t limit yourself to the confines of a school. There’s so much more to see and learn elsewhere in the world.”

And, in a similar vein:

“Of all the most important things I have learned over the past five years, virtually none came from here.”

Times change, but the song stays the same eh.

Yearbook Photo

I’ve decided to dive back into writing about musical history and culture, because music is my first love and the one person, country or entity I will undoubtedly love till my dying day. Here’s my first stab, regarding Liam Finn.

Thank you Kier and The-Monitors for giving me the chance to compare a Kiwi folkie to Charles Manson.


Aaaaand, the quote of the day goes to Daniel Farrell: “I am sitting in Pizza Express, reading your book, using a Durex instruction leaflet as a bookmark.”

Durex Bookmark

Dear Scotland,

I love you with every shred of my being. It was with a heavy heart that I left your sparkling shores. It is my singular intent to communicate my deep devotion to your nation with this photograph. 

I believe the expression you are looking for – verbally as well as facially – is “doe eyed”.

From The Bottom Of My Heart

Zoe Cormier


I just spent 20 minutes watching a cow eat grass while listening to a chorus of moos.

Nature has the capacity to rock out.


You can listen to an interview on Scottish radio with me here. I start at 109.00.

The interviewers gasped when I used the f-word at the end, but they said at the start: “Wigtown is a great festival to pop your cherry at.” Ha.

Dear Scotland.

You are simultaneously the most incredible and underrated nation on the face of the earth.

That is all.









Dear Apple

Stop making an entire generation illiterate with your destitute dictionary and the infuriating autocorrect function.

I understand that dumbing down the entire human population is in your economic interest, but it’s really fucking annoying.



During my time at uni, I put myself through school as a bartender by earning tips at The Opera House, a kickass venue in Toronto. Choice cuts from the cornucopia of stories I have to share – which I will, until the day I die – here.

Zoe Cormier 7

Big love to Josh Miles Joudrie, who laboured as a sound engineer during the three years I worked as a peddler of alcohol.

He recently passed through London for two nights on tour, so we went out for drinks, as you do. London is like New York. Everyone comes through at some point.

I hadn’t seen Josh in a decade.

Three hours traipsing down memory lane over pints? Time well spent.

One anecdote: The first gig I ever worked.


Cyber metal lords and unparalleled theatrical originators.

Gwar In Concert - Los Angeles, CA

Me: “Watching them cover the walls in plastic sheeting was unforgettable.”

Josh: “Forget that – watching them cover the monitors, cables and sound desk buttons in cling film was even better.”

Me: “Watching the naive bartender sluts come to work in white was fucking hilarious.”

Josh: “That show was nothing compared to the open-air acts that featured set changes, background flats and the alternate costumes for hot or rainy weather. They had a 53-foot trailer. Watching a golf cart full of disembowelled babies [puppets, not humans] trundle across a field was priceless.”

One of the most amazing things about metalers: they are almost always, without fail, chivalrous and well-mannered.

RIP Dave Brockie, you theatrical, unparalleled, nutcase genius. As my dad, promoter Gary Cormier, once said: “These guys were total gentlemen. I would work with them any time, no matter the cost.”


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